Take a moment to consider what something like this involves. It begins with people putting pressure on China to be more environmentally friendly. A meeting is called and someone suggests covering a hillside with green toxic paint to resolve the issue. The idea is approved and $60,600 is spent on putting the plan into action.

$60,600 worth of toxic paint could have bought 13,060 pounds of Perenniall Ryegrass seeds, enough to cover 1,632,343 square feet. The end result would also have been a green hillside, with plenty of seeds leftover to feed an entire fleet of remote controlled pigeons.  $60,600 could also have been used to plant a fake forest with green cardboard trees. While this would also have been a waste of money, at least it would have been recyclable, not toxic.

Ironically, many people speculate that “officials of the surrounding Fumin county, whose office building faces the mountain, were trying to change the area’s feng shui – the ancient Chinese belief of harmonizing one’s physical environment for maximum health and financial benefit”. This means that government officials came to the conclusion that the best way to harmonize the environment for maximum health and financial benefit is by wasting money on destroying the environment even though the environment is necessary for good health and investing money wisely is necessary for financial benefit.

Protecting the environment and spray paint don’t go together. In fact, anytime you see a skull and crossbones image on a product you plan to dump on a hillside, chances are its a bad idea. That being said, don’t let politicians fool you. Protecting the environment and nuclear power also do not go together. A nuclear power plant may create less air pollutants, but that doesn’t change the fact that it’s a giant spray-paint can with millions of skull and crossbones all over it. As of 2000, Canada has 35,000 tonnes of highly radioactive nuclear waste, with nowhere to put it. With a radioactive half-life of 25,000 years, nuclear waste remains dangerous for 250,000 years (And these are just the problems we face when a nuclear power plant is working properly!). The damage from spray painting a mountain green will be gone long before then.

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Sources:

http://www.cbc.ca/cp/Oddities/070214/K021404AU.html

http://www.davidsuzuki.org/Climate_Change/Energy/Nuclear.asp

The U.S military has already tried creating remote controlled sharks and currently trains dolphins to search for mines.

“Scientists with the Robot Engineering Technology Research Center of east China’s Shandong University of Science and Technology say they implanted micro electrodes in the brain of a pigeon so they can command it to fly right or left or up or down.

The implants stimulated different areas of the pigeon’s brain according to signals sent by the scientists via computer, and forced the bird to comply with their commands.” – http://hackedgadgets.com/

Since we shouldn’t have to worry about a missile defense system against pigeons for another two or three years, I’ll focus the rest of this article on some of the benefits that could arise from this technology!

First of all, some non-military uses will be found for the birds. If Fedex can get their hands on some remote controlled pigeons I guarantee they will start using them to deliver mail just like owls do in Harry Potter. Sure, some animal rights activists will likely be against the idea of giving pigeons brain implants and using them to fly packages across the country and oversea, but imagine the savings! Thousands of workers could be laid off and replaced with pigeons who will be paid in grain. Also, think of the carbon savings! Switching to pigeons is a great way to reduce greenhouse gas emmissions and go green!

The technology will help clean up the streets. Most pigeons spend their days downtown panhandling and begging people for food. This technology will get the pigeons off the streets and into jobs seeing as many new employment possibilities will be available for the birds either as couriers or assassins.

Of course, this will inevitably lead to the development of remote controlled humans. If you think it’s impossible, guess again. The technology has obviously already been tested on many politicians who serve oil companies and large corporations rather than those who would elect them.

Farmers in Switzerland find that cannabis is a very affordable way to feed their cows who also seem happier upon consumption. The Agriculture Ministry however states that the active ingredient in cannabis, THC, can get into the milk and create a health risk. However, artificial growth hormones designed to increase milk production, when there is already an oversupply of milk, are perfectly safe.

If anyone should be allowed to get high, its the cows. We’ve taken all meaning and fun out of their lives while treating them as commodities to use and expend as we please. Cows do not live in the wild, we have enslaved their entire population. Despite this, they are not on any endangered species lists because we don’t view them as a creature any longer, but rather as a burgers or bags of milk. They have nothing going for them besides exploitation, just let the cows get high.

Of course, others will argue that we need to educate the young cows about the dangers of drugs and peer pressure. Do you want your cow to grow up and spend it’s life working at McDonald’s, being fed to people by employees making minimum wage?

Don’t think that cows are only being fed cannabis in Switzerland. These happy cow videos show American cows from California who are obviously also in a good mood. Do you want to make these cows sad? Of course not, man, thats messed up! Get out your plunger and pull the plug on the ban on feeding cows cannabis! THC does not accumulate in the food chain like poisonous mercury, yet fish have not been banned from living in the waters we have polluted and continue to make dangerous to our own health.